Be afraid be veeeeeeeeery afraid
(Source: memehermetica, via fatpeoplemakemehappy)
INTERNET FRIENDS RULE
| me: | does anyone want to go to a concert with me? |
| real life friends: | |
| me: | |
| real life friends: | |
| internet friends: | YES OKAY I'LL BOOK A FLIGHT AND WE CAN HAVE A SLUMBER PARTY AT YOUR HOUSE AND HUNT THEM DOWN AFTER THE SHOW AND MEET THEM AND MAKE THEM LOVE US AND MOVE IN WITH THEM |
Whatever works for you
| Interviewer: | So why should we hire you? |
| Me: | Well, I'm hardworking, dedicated and at the end of the day I always deliver * breaks into hysterical coughs* |
| Interviewer: | (with a raised brow) Pizzas? |
| Me: | (head hung low in defeat) results, but I can do that too if you want. |
Wonder if I stand a chance.
“Take me away to places I ain’t seen
They say you got a hold on me
and I won’t disagree”
(Source: Spotify)
Say what
| Arthur: | But it's very dangerous to smoke on an aeroplane |
| Passenger: | No it's not. |
| Arthur: | [pause] I don't know what to say now. |
